Oh baby. I don't know about y'all, but never have I been more ready for football. After the insanity that has been 2020, I literally cannot contain my eagerness to shovel junk food into my face whilst staring at a TV screen where superhuman men beat each other senseless for the sole purpose of accumulating imaginary points for my personal gratification and glory. Somehow, THAT's going to be the most normal part of the year, and I'm friggin pumped!
We've already read Adam's Draft Recap, which was well argued and indeed informative. But we know where the premium content comes from: my perennial favorite, the Draft Visual Recap. So enough with flowery words--it's time to post memes!
PRE-DRAFT

Andrew calling me 10 minutes before the draft.

Me and Max answering the call

Griff getting the message late but finding an outfit in time.

Adam, made instantly jealous that he was not suited up...

then realizing he didn't have a suit handy to join in the fun.

How everyone else showed up.

How the suited up managers felt.

Max naming our teams on the draft board with gems like Utah Jizz and Run Them Jews

Group speculation on whether Bernard, in fact, exists.

Bernard arriving in the Zoom call.

Only to leave immediately and slow everything down for half the draft.

Us thinking his girlfriend or job was hassling him.

What was actually going on.

The Early Rounds

Everybody clamoring for RBs in the first 3 rounds

Cliff discovering Henry fell to him, leading him to delay drafting a QB in the first round like he had planned. (or maybe he just thought he was getting CEH).

Me drafting Lamar Jackson in the first round when I know I will be ridiculed by Adam in his draft recap.

My reaction when Max told me he wouldn't have taken Lamar Jackson with his first two picks, meaning I could've taken my "one who got away" Michael Thomas AND gotten LJ on the turn.

Adam taking Tyreek, to general enthusiasm of the league, only to experience instant buyer's remorse.

Mike taking Sanders and Godwin with his turn picks.

Us watching, knowing he has CMC too.

Adam watching Kelce fall to him and unable to resist the value, even if it means owning two Chiefs receivers.

Could any of the RBs taken in Round 3 end up being in the top 5 if they can track down a Delorean and recapture a former season's glory?

Max taking Mark Ingram.

Me snagging Golladay in the 4th

Steve's thought process taking Stafford so early.

Andrew snagging Keenan Allen in the 6th

Andrew straight up salivating over Hillman's first 6 picks.

Me starting to come apart at the seams because Bernard needs to be communicated the remaining players via smoke signals before he can morse code in his next pick.

The Middle Rounds

Steve taking Leonard Fournette

Me watching Adam take Arod, thinking he could drop to me.

Andrew assuring me that wasn't going to happen

Collectively noticing that it's round 8 and Griff still hasn't drafted his QB1

Adam taking JK Dobbins after opting out of the RB rat race.

Max watching Adam take Dobbins, his complimentary target to his Ingram reach.

Me watching Andrew reach for Darius Leonard for the third year in a row.

Bernard reaching for Slayton because he has no idea what receivers are left

Max stealing Latavius Murray from Adam

Then suggesting they "trade handcuffs."

Bernard returning from his unexcused absence

Cliff leaving THE MOMENT Bernard returns to play a video game? WTF!?

Me officially losing my shit over this clusterfuck

The Late Rounds

Me drafting Blake Martinez

Hillman drafting Chandler Jones, unaware that he's been designated a LB for 5+ years.

Cliff drafting an 8th receiver

Watching Griff draft 3 QBs in the final rounds, only one of which is starting week 1

Me taking Ryan Fitzpatrick

Post Draft

Andrew explaining why he drafted IDPs so early.

No shit bud.

Griff claiming he knew exactly what he was doing not drafting a second starting QB

Only to drop a player and pick up Derek Carr the next day.

Cliff thanking Andrew for giving him Tarik Cohen for Tyler Boyd

And that's the Draft Visual Recap. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did making it, which was extensively. Good luck this season. Until then, suck it bitches and I'll see ya in the playoffs!
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